Personal log. Stardate 9708.28.

I have just received a copy of the Star Trek® Federation Travel Guide and wish I'd had a copy earlier. If I had, I would have read the introduction and heeded Lwaxana Troi's advice to leave a tip for that Ferengi waiter at the 214th Rule last month. Now I'm having to pay out all my funds in bribes just to get a meal in this Ferengi jail.

At least I have time to plan my next trip. I was thinking of visiting Rubicun III (I'd heard that the inhabitants were very accommodating), but Friedman lists it in his "Places and Lifeforms to Avoid" section. Apparently they enforce a death penalty for even the smallest infractions of their rules! The Klingon homeworld, Cardassia Prime, and Vulcan are all listed as possible destinations, but I think I want something more fun after this Ferengi cell.

Where does Friedman suggest? I've already been to Risa (and he's right--the key phrase is "Why didn't I try this before?"). Bajor sounds interesting. The photo shows why he gave a three star rating to the wormhole. (He says three stars means "worth spanning the galaxy for," as opposed to one star, "looks better in the holobrochure.") And there's an ad for a tailor shop nearby on Deep Space Nine that might be worth visiting, though I can't understand what a Cardassian is doing runing one. Argelius II? He says they're hedonistic (and says they've been opening up massage facilities around the galaxy lately). He recommends a restaurant, Michael's Wok. Says it was opened by an Earthman(!) and "brings an intriguing Terran style of preparation to traditional dishes like raahn stew, rurii salad, and steamed emmi leaves."

Maybe I should check out his "Best Bets" section. The best place to play dom-jot? Not for me. Watch a baseball game? I thought the game had died out. Enjoy haggis? No thanks! Take a mudbath? That might be interesting: Shiralea VI. And he says to "pack a lunch and plan to spend all day in the baths. Once you get in, you won't want to get out." Perfect.

Must be time to log out and see who I can bribe today. It's a good thing this guide is small enough to fit in my uniform pocket, or I'd have to bribe someone else to keep it. I do like having my Federation ID on the back cover, but I wonder what this notation "$6.00 U.S./$8.00 CAN." refers to? Maybe I'll send Friedman a subspace message and find out.

Lela Olszewski is an avid reader of science fiction, fantasy, mystery and romance, as well as an eclectic mix of other fiction and non-fiction. She is also a librarian with an interest in readers' advisory, and believes fully in Rosenberg's Law: Never apologize for your reading tastes. She has no cats.